Monday, February 22, 2010

Cold War Honey Trap to beat the Taliban

From Christina Lamb of the UKTimes on Line: Bees; a new honey trap to stop the IEDs in Afghanistan.">Robots and bees to beat the Taliban"> Yee haw! Maybe we're getting some where and it would be "green" jobs too.
I can invision an entire new genre of manly cold war movies set in that British blurred tint I enjoy so much. .. Anyway, Who says we can't have fun and win a war at the same time as well as protect American lives and the lives of Afghanistan soldiers who are trying to defend their own country from one day to the next. And we can create new jobs too... The possibilities are endless. more demand for Bee keepers, more floppy hats and netting...let your imagination take flight.
Who ya gonna call? 007? Nope not for this honey trap.
Call in the bees; we've already got our head community organizer extortionist some might say. Talk about a clever idea for a honey trap. Seems those little bees can be taught in 20 minutes or less to detect or distinguish one scent or substance from another. Instead of bomb sniffing dogs, we'll fill the mountains of Afghanistan with bomb detecting bees buzzing ruthlessly to victory dropping little Miranda cards out as they fly along to any insurgent radical islamists extremists they may inadvertently sting Totally by accident you understand. Just sniffing for bombmaking making materials, general, and that's the truth of it, Sir, just the truth and he - the insurrgent - stole my pen. Why not just afix night-night juice to my stinger? I can mirandize the murderers, read 'em their rights at the same time pass on a lethal injection. Talk about a cost effective delivery system AND Remember I'm a non-violent bee, no water-boarding involved. Just sniffing away, just sniffing away...
The article is just plain good. But it seems that in all of the researching, the scientists have learned that the Taliban behave more like "street-gang community organizer thugs trained at less prestigious institutions than our Ivy League thugs list on their vita but still with a bent toward extortion; Oh that radicalizer Saul Alinsky.
but the bees it seems can't be bought off. They are high class thugs Or won't stoop to that level of submission. they cannot bow They're bees we're talking about and they're going for the honey not the money. They are bees after all, manly bees no doubt. Manly bees who know just what to do with their many bomb detecting tongues. Honest to goodness. Read the article. We have a budget deficit or so I've heard but I think it's more like a deficit in manly men, eh? Who have a growing attention deficit disorder to just exactly who our enemies are... demonstrating their urgency for remedial training. Now, repeat after me,"exactly who are the folks with red and green flags who want to kill us and annihilate Israel another member of the United Nations? How did these folks controlling our lives from D.C. ever graduate from K-12? It is shameful... Much less from universities that reputedly use text books with words not just pictures of boring and possibly the most harmful teaching "aid" to which our students have been subjected for the Lord only knows how long now... That is the cruel and unusual punishment of the endless powerpoint regurgitation for high technology that has now replaced the art of teaching. If we subjected the Gitmo boys to PowerPoint (my apologies to the creators of power Point presentations typed in Arabic I'd be screaming habeus corpus too... Why not just play Ravel's Bolero all day and drive them all crazy. On the bright side...
Another possible upside is that I don't see why the bees can't be put to work buzzing about through all of those poppy fields and putting more Afghans to work at what could well become the world's largest honey producing factory in the world. Hummm....
Just wondering what that laudanum laced honey would taste like and would it be good for dear Auntie Harriet's vapors following her nightly mint julep as she pauses and lowers her weary self onto the porch swing to refresh herself in the cooling summer's night air sprawled out, one toe swinging her lazily back and forth on the wrap-around veranda in the cushion packed swing, Oh mercy, I have been meaning to find that can of 3-in-1 oil... Spanish moss hanging from tree limbs and fire flies cheering on the bees half a world away.
We could save American lives, create more jobs, distribute the wealth more efficiently through a federally managed program so the money would go from the poppy field's owners to the war lords following the administrations' axiom "from each according to his means to each according to his needs or according to his extortionists demands" and ability to threaten us. Here the warring Taliban tribal thugs probably win out, put more folks to work and settle Auntie Harriet's nerves all at the same time. Caught in the gentleness of the moment we relax to appraise
Their fragile little fire-fly tails flickering "go bees go! as the fireflies show their patriotism.
Now talk about a mixture for a hot toddy... with a hint of honey suckle mixed in, I have either lived in the South too long or read too many of Pat Conroy's and Flannery O'Connor's books and short stories. But I like it just fine. There is a place in our beloved America for everyone who wants to pull his weight and stand shoulder to shoulder in common cause to catch and kill the Islamists extremists who want to kill us and corrupt our laws and our U.S. Constitution. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave and those Taliban cowards who cover a helpless, beaten woman in a pale blue bur qua, make her kneel in the dirt of a soccer field and brazenly execute her Nazi style in front of their sexually repressed younger thugs. And this is what some would have us bring to America! Hell, NO! Not on our watch.
And some of us are Always on Watch...
Some flu has hit the region where I am and we are getting clobbered. No hot toddy for me.

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