Thursday, September 21, 2006

Islamic Fundamentalist Guide to Western Civilization

Let's build a guide for islamic fundamentalist so that they can better understand and therefore get along better with infidels (whoops, that would be us, i.e., the rest of the world's people). The idea if for us to build a list of mores, codes, standards about us that might be helpful in the cross-cultural training that "leaders" call for and also for the 15,000 Saudi Arabian students flocking our shores (on our nickle, via the Saudi prince who is picking up the tab) just in time for Ramadan training and celebration at universities across the nation. Does the enterprise not fill your heart with glee? But we can learn and we can provide guidelines for understanding. Allow me to offer the first tenet. All right, here we go. I started us out with a title that I made-up. These tenets can be learned mantra style. To begin, the Beach Girl says: For inclusion in the Islamic Fundamentalist Guide to Western Civilization: Tenet One:
Let's get the God issue on the table first. Western men and women who are Christians or Jews believe in a monotheistic God. It is your distorted view of Christianity that has you wanting to kill us. The Jewish folks believe that Jesus was a prophet. You believe Mohammed was a prophet. Perhaps you may want to consider leaving the Jewish folks alone. Your collective energies seem to be spent grinding up your own soul under the mill stone of hate. The Jews and Christians are not taught to hate and kill, and thus they spend their energies using the gifts God has given them creating good. Forgive the generalization, but perhaps it is time to stop fighting extended battles of wars that are at least 1400 years old. [Beach Girl]
Tenet Two:
Western men do not hide behind their women and children. Western men do not beat their women and children. Western men protect and defend their women and children. [Beach Girl]
Tenet Three:
Western women do not wear burqas, chador, nor hijab. Western women like to show off their bodies because they have the moral right to do so, and because they know that western men like it. Since you are not a western man, oh useless idiot, you may only borrow the mental image of the western woman, and... [steve harkonnen]
Tenet Four:
Western men and women do not rear their children to blow themselves up in the name of any God.[lilfeathers2000]
Tenet Five:
Western Men and Women try to educated their Children so they may read and write.[lilfeathers2000]
Tenet Six:
Western Families do not encourage sending their children to terrorist training camps.[lilfeathers2000]
Tenet Seven:
Western men have a reasonably thick skin -- thick enough not to murder someone over an insult, much less a political cartoon.[Strange Fire]
If you like, please drop a comment/suggested tenet at this post. Please try not to get me thrown off the internet. I'm still in my infancy here. In other words, I wish I'd thought of the tenet first.

6 Comments:

Blogger Steve Harkonnen said...

Suggestion for Tenet #2:

Western women do not wear burqas, chador, nor hijab. Western women like to show off their bodies because they have the moral right to do so, and because they know that western men like it. Since you are not a western man, oh useless idiot, you may only borrow the mental image of the western woman, and masturbate feverishly, with number 6 grade sand-paper, in the privacy of your own tent.

2:59 PM  
Blogger lilfeathers2000 said...

Western men and women do not rear their children to blow themselves up in the name of any God.

Western Men and Women try to educated their Children so they may read and write.

Western Families do not encourage sending their children to terrorist training camps.

3:12 PM  
Blogger Beach Girl said...

Very good (lilfeathers2000) and funny (steve harkonnen). Sure hope I don't get thrown off the internet.

6:44 PM  
Blogger Russet Shadows said...

Western men have a reasonably thick skin -- thick enough not to murder someone over an insult, much less a political cartoon.

10:20 PM  
Blogger lilfeathers2000 said...

I don't think you will. I think this is a neat idea.

10:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Scare us enough and you will truly regret it. Iraq and Afganistan are nothing compared to what we could do if we really feel our survival threatened.

The United States can be your best friend or your absolute worst nightmare. The choice is entirely yours.

1:15 AM  

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